This week is mental health awareness week. The initiative is supported by a number of leading mental health charities including The Mental Health Foundation, Mind and Heads Together. Whilst it has been an important part of the mental health calendar for a number of years, this year it feels even more so appropriate.
At the start of the year, the facts suggested 1 in every 4 adults have experienced a mental health issue. Given the circumstances we have been managing as a nation, it would come as no surprise if this number is higher – it stands to reason, the Covid – 19 pandemic has impacted every house hold in some way. Significantly – for those who are not affected – is the importance of not judging those who are.
Look beyond what you think you see
Judgement is a terrible notion; at face value it is easy to make an assumption as to why someone is unable to pay their bills, hasn’t seen anyone in almost ten weeks or isn’t coping well with an addiction. Of course – as individuals – we have an element of control as to what life choices we make, but there is a deeper layer to consider. The are many things in life which we cannot control and understanding why things happen is not always clear. How do we judge the gambler who has debts beyond their control? It would be easy to judge and deplore; but what if they have been made redundant because of the current situation and believed gambling would give them a lucky win which would help the family? What about the drunk parent who – just once – was so frustrated they punched their spouse and child? Very quickly we paint a negative picture to ourselves about that person; it’s easy to do. The truth is, the individuals behind these examples may have had very successful careers, they may have been positive and well liked within their community, yet, the last two months has changed them due to circumstances beyond their control, leaving them frightened, vulnerable and open to expressing their situation in a very negative way.
Let’s be clear, we are not suggesting Covid -19 is an excuse for poor life decisions, we are merely highlighting how the 1 in 4 number could now be very different.
Having issues with your mental and emotional health is hard enough to deal with as an individual – to recognise the problem, confront it and be prepared to deal with it is a whole different notion. As counsellors, we both positively embrace people who make an inquiry as to how we can help them; to make that call – when feeling so broken and under-valued – is beyond commendable. Whilst there are labels such as depression, anxiety, abuser, abused, personality disorder, bereavement and so on, no one person has the same experience. At Active Listening Therapies we put the emphasis on the experience of the individual’s journey – it has more value than a label. Everyone will experience grief and loss at some point in their life, but not everyone will experience it in the same way or in the same intensity. Experience is subjective, so putting the person in the heart of the therapeutic journey, rather than the issue delivers a far better outcome.
Things are changing
It does feel more socially acceptable to discuss mental and emotional health than it did even five years ago, it also feels like there are more resources available too. If the senior Royal family can discuss their own experience, whilst also putting their weight behind organisations such as Heads Together then everyone can be empowered to be honest with themselves – and that is a positive step in the right direction. The Samaritans has vastly changed its appearance in recent years. It has an excellent web presence with a wealth of information and the telephone talking service for which they are recognised for is now even better. You can call them on 116 123, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, safe in the knowledge that the call wont appear on your telephone bill.
Mental health in the workplace is a little behind the curve, although many organisations are now empowering staff with mental health first aiders. Whilst this is positive step forward, we are still faced with the issue of who is responsible for mental health in the workplace, employer or employee? An employer could be forgiven in thinking the priority is to make a profit, whilst the employee will believe they are the most important part of the business and their welfare is of paramount importance. The fact is, parity is with both.
Whilst there are lots of positive changes taking place, there is a crisis looming; a crisis which will silently creep up on us as parents, employers and teachers. At Active Listening Therapies we support three schools in the region with mental health intervention and it is becoming increasingly apparent that children transitioning from year 6 (junior) to year 7 (senior) are woefully ill-prepared for the demands of senior life. Young people have easy access to information beyond their age suitability, are immersed in technology and have have little appreciation of boundaries. On the flip-side they are becoming poorly suited to face-to-face peer interaction, believe the world is against them and have a strong notion that they are being unfairly treated. The result – in the not too distant future – will be a workplace filled with employees who struggle to communicate, have a disdain for authority and who will blame others when their demands are not met. Counselling in the school environment will help, but won’t sort the situation. We must be mindful of this as a society.
Three routes to the perfect counselling service
Hopefully, this Mental Health week will prompt people to consider their own position and to sensitively look out for others who might not be aware they may be suffering. When considering the most appropriate counselling service there are three elements to be aware of:
1 – Referral through the GP
2 – Charity or not for profit counselling provider
3 – Private counselling provider
The GP is a good start, although they are not mental health specialists. If they feel counselling is appropriate you will be referred to an external service. You will be allocated six sessions of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – a type of therapy which aims to review the way you think about the issues you have. Normally this is a funded service, so no cost to you.
If you would like to self refer, options 2 & 3 will be the best fit. There are many charity or not for profit counselling services who work really hard to provide a dedicated service. By enlarge these will also be funded sessions, although there may be a discretionary payment option. Such organisations will often specialise in a particular field, such as baby loss, bereavement, or sexual abuse.
A private practice such as Active Listening Therapies is the final option. This kind of company will be run as sole-trader or Private Limited Company. Take your time to research the style of counselling or a specialism, and pay attention to the counsellors available. Be brave and pick up the phone – you’ll get a good feeling as to their suitability for you. We provide a free 30 minute consultation ahead of the first session and if it feels wrong in any way we’ll not engage until you are comfortable.
Which ever option you choose you’ll be met with a contractual agreement, this safe-guards everyone and makes sure that what is disclosed in a session remains confidential. Discussing your mental health is one of the most personal actions you’ll ever do; make sure you are comfortable before you commit. Finally; counselling, therapy – or what ever you want to call it shouldn’t be viewed negatively or as a character weakness. Whilst it may focus on negative thoughts and feelings, ultimately it should be a positive and rewarding experience.
To close, mental health is an issue which will affect us all at some point. Take some time this week to familiarise yourself with the counselling services around you. If you know someone who is suffering, make this week the week you reach out to help.
To speak to a counsellor from Active Listening Therapies you can call the following numbers:
Louise Ellison: 07568 390402
Duncan Ellison: 07759 948001