When people seek counselling and embark on a therapeutic journey, the expectation is, transformation will happen straight away. Often this will be the case but measuring the change can be difficult and sometimes lead to perceived disappointment. When vulnerable, it is easy to lose sight of the process and focus on the negative even when positive notions and thoughts are developing, and this is the point when many decide counselling isn’t for them.
Talking therapy isn’t for everyone, but not allowing the process to develop, or stopping at session three may be short-sighted. The difficulty early on is simply gathering the strength to contact a counsellor and making it through the first few sessions. While clients may feel a sense of relief at this point, it can be difficult to attribute success so early on.
Of course, there is no metric point in time where effort translates into positive feeling, it is unique to the individual, but as we say to new clients ‘when you know, you know’ – and we’ll know too! Therapeutic success isn’t an even curve and some clients – having discovered a sense of empowerment – sometimes become overly self-critical when they believe they are not making the progress or achieving success; this is perfectly normal.
It is easy to lose sight of the small wins, moments of clarity and inward reflection as the process will be less of an unknown situation and more of a familiar procedure. Some clients choose to conclude their therapeutic journey at this point and while we’ll never disagree as to when is an appropriate finish point, taking it further often proves beneficial.
When it comes, the ‘light-bulb moment’ can bring a mix of feelings such as, grief, anger, acceptance, positivity, and enlightenment. Most of all it brings clarity and vision, allowing a client to review their frame of reference and make positive steps to changing the way they view their circumstances. It is not unusual for the direction and focus to change throughout the process and sometimes clients are surprised to be working on circumstances or thoughts far removed from their original disclosures. At this point it is easy for a client to think they more fractured than they originally believed, this is not so; it shows their ability to accept and move forward into areas which were inaccessible previously. Through resilience and determination comes balance…
There are occasions where a client may not see the confidence that we see and wish to continue beyond where could be viewed as healthy; it easy to transition from a professional discussion to a social conversation and this is where boundaries need to be discussed. When the relationship becomes social, the opportunity for therapeutic gain reduces and can undermine the positive sessions already completed. This is a good juncture to reduce the frequency of the sessions and allow the client time to process their own position between each meeting; we will wind down a relationship from weekly and extend the period between sessions.
Some clients finish counselling and never return to the consulting room again, others like to check in from time to time. Providing there has been a thorough ending to the main session focus we sometimes see clients who periodically return for short intervals – three sessions every few months, or one session a month for example.
As therapists we are here to guide you, we should not be a source of advice though. Our aim to is help you make sense of what you have been through, or what you are dealing with right now. At Active Listening Therapies we place you – as a person – above your circumstances, meaning you and your welfare are at the heart of our work. Once we understand this, we can then look circumstances, followed by how to deal with them. Confidentiality is the backbone of our relationship; you have the assurance to be honest and open with us, so that we can mutually explore your world together with the confidence that whatever you disclose remains private.
Our relationship will be unique, the trust you place in us may be more than you have done with friends and family; we’ll share highs and lows, laughs and tears, but it will remain professional. It sounds complicated, but it works which is why we have successfully worked with over five hundred clients since we opened in 2017.
What ever your circumstances, frame of mind or past situation, we are here to help you through to a positive resolve. We may not be the right service for you and if you feel this is the case after a free consultation don’t be afraid to say, however we have a very good track-record of supporting young people and adults with individual counselling and group mediation. Active Listening Therapies is accessible from Bingham, Grantham, Southwell and the east side of Lincoln, while also centrally located to support clients from Newark and the surrounding villages.
To discuss your circumstances, thoughts and emotions with either Louise or Duncan, or to check availability for sessions at Active Listening Therapies, click here